Where Angels Fear to Tread – Dark Bites- Sherrilyn Kenyon

This was another super short story and I could not see any connection to the Dark-Hunter series except that it was paranormal in nature. It was more of a fable with a moral message. But it was hilarious and I laughed most of the way through it. The thoughts and things that Zeke says cracked me up.

Zeke has a bleak and boring life. He works at an office in a cubicle as a claims adjuster or something like that even though he has his MBA. He listens to complaint after complaint over the telephone day after day for 50 hours a week and he only makes around $30,000 a year. He longs for a better job and a better life.

He gets a phone call from an attorney who tells him that his great uncle has left him everything in his will. He didn’t even know he had a great uncle but he takes his sister over to the great uncle’s house to see what he inherited. The house is pretty cluttered with artifacts and books because his uncle had been an archeologist in his younger years and then became a recluse. He picks up a medallion with some ancient markings on it and he and his sister start making jokes about chanting and wishing for a new life for him. On their way out, Zeke picks up a strange coin and puts it in his pocket.

They go to a café to eat and Zeke starts hearing, “You have been chosen.” He thinks his sister is messing with him at first but when he keeps hearing that phrase over and over, he tells his sister that he needs to go see a shrink because he thinks he may be schizophrenic. She tells him that it may be fun for his job. He could tell his claimants, “No, ma’am, I didn’t turn down your claim, the voices in my head did.”

When Zeke gets home, the angel Gabriel is there. He tells Zeke that he has been chosen to be an avenger for mankind. Zeke tries to run out of the front door but the door disappears. He tells Gabriel, “Yo, Hotel California, I want my door back!”

Zeke looks in the mirror and he has long white hair, is wearing a leather jacket with spikes on the shoulder and has a sword hanging from his hip and he thinks, “Holy shit! I’m a refugee from FUNmation or Final Fantasy!”

Then his sword turns into a metal man and a raven appears who then turns into a woman. Gabriel tells them they are his helpers.

His life has definitely changed. And the moral of the story is….

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