I spent most of my time laughing while reading this book because there was a lot of hilarious scenes.
It starts out with Raphael Santiago, A Dark-Hunter, trying to tell his Squire, Jeff, that he is in trouble for writing a story in a Sci-Fi magazine about Dark-Hunters but Jeff doesn’t get it. The biggest rule for a Squire is to protect the secrets of the existence of Dark-Hunters. When the Squire Council finds out about this, he could be imprisoned or killed. Jeff thinks that he has disguised the story pretty well and no one will believe it anyway. Instead of Daimons, he wrote that they were cursed soul-sucking vampires but Raphael points out that the fact that they die at age 27 unless they suck the souls out of the humans to elongate their lives is exactly what a Daimon is. Just because he used the Norse gods Odin and Freya instead of Apollo and Artemis, doesn’t make it okay. Then instead of Dark-Hunter, he used Night Searcher.
The funniest part though is that he changed Raphael’s name to Ralph St. James which is just the English version of Raphael and Santiago and he described him as a Taye Diggs look-alike and described Raphael’s tattoos with just a slight variation. Raphael says, “I really resent you making me a Taye Diggs clone. Nothing against the man, but other than the occasional bald head, the color of our skin, and a diamond stud in our left ear, we have nothing in common.”
Raphael thinks that maybe no one will see it and Jeff will be okay until he asks how many subscribers the magazine has and Jeff tells him that there are 150,000 worldwide. Raphael tells him, “You are so dead.”
His phone rings and it is another Dark-Hunter, Ephani. She tells him that her Squire, Celena is on her way over there to take Jeff into custody. Celena is a by-the-rules type of person. She never breaks a rule and follows all procedures to the nth degree. He hides Jeff in the closet and meets Celena at the door.
Celena tells Raphael that she wants him to hand over Jeff. Raphael tries reasoning with her and saying that nobody will read the magazine anyway or find out but Celena insists on taking Jeff into custody. Raphael asks, “Come on. Haven’t you ever broke a rule?” and she simply states, “No.”
He ends up making a deal with her. Since she is depriving him of his Squire because he is in hiding, Celena has to Squire for him for a week. If she doesn’t break a rule in that week, he will hand over Jeff. A substitute can Squire for Ephani. Celena agrees because she knows she won’t break any rules. While Celena goes to get her things for the week, Raphael sends Jeff to his boat on the docks to hide.
Raphael has ulterior motives for wanting Celena to be at his house. Although it is against the rules for a Dark-Hunter and Squire to get together, he wants Celena. He thinks she is hot and he has all kinds of naughty thoughts about her….that is…until she gets back and starts being his Squire.
She lays out a bunch of equipment on the table for him before he goes out to patrol for Daimons for the night. She has three stakes because two might break, a Kevlar vest, a watch with an alarm set for twenty minutes before daybreak that she has synchronized the time with the National Weather Service, and a body bag just in case he doesn’t make it home before the sun comes up. She tells him to zip himself up in it and press #1 on his auto dial which she has already programmed with her number and she will find him and pick him up because his phone also now has a tracker on it.
Yeah, all naughty thoughts gone!
After a few days of this, he calls Ephani and tells her to come get her Squire because she is nuts and he wants to wring her neck. He tells Ephani that Celena re-organized his kitchen and replaced all his food with nutritional food. He tried explaining to Celena that he is immortal and no matter how unhealthy the food is that he eats, it will never make him fat or kill him. She didn’t care. Ephani just laughed. Then she told him why Celena is so uptight. Her father and family were Squires. The Dark-Hunter they worked for was killed by Daimons. Then the first Dark-Hunter Celena was assigned to didn’t make it home before daybreak. Celena didn’t make it to her in time and watched as she ignited into flames. After hearing this, Raphael understood Celena a little better.
His naughty thoughts are back that night. He tries to kiss her but she tells him that she will kick him in his balls and makes it so graphic that all naughty thoughts poof away.
Celena also likes Raphael. She has been in love with him ever since she met him but she knows the rules and she won’t jeopardize her job.
I really can’t go into any more without spoiling the story.
It was a super cute story which made me laugh most of the way through it. I think Sherrilyn did a superb job of endearing the characters to me in even though the story was so short. I know it is hard to get a lot of depth and personality in characters in novellas but Sherrilyn always seems to accomplish it. Plus humor works on me every time.
This is the 6th book in Dark Bites and 10.5 in the Dark-Hunter series.