I Bring the Fire (A Loki Story Book) – Part 1 Wolves – C. Gockel

This is part of Paranormal 13, a book with paranormal romance stories that I downloaded for free. I’m reading each story…or trying to…and reviewing them. This is #6.

I did not finish this book. The story was actually inventive and interesting but the way it was written with its short sentences drove me insane. The way it is written in present tense feels amateurish and unpolished. It almost felt like a first draft that was accidently published before the author went back and refined it or like English was not the author’s first language. Have you ever heard an elderly Native American tell a story? I love their stories but they do have a certain simplicity to them and there is a definite choppy rhythm which, of course, is one of the charms of the story because you know that the storyteller is authentic but it does not work when writing a paranormal romance book. In order to keep the reader’s attention…or at least my attention…the author needs to make me feel like I am there by writing complex sentences with gobs of adjectives, adverbs and action words that flow off the page instead of short sentences that feel jerky and impersonal.

The story is about Amy Lewis, a veterinary student who is on her way from Oklahoma to her home town in Chicago to see her grandparents during a school break. When she swerves to miss a deer on the long dark deserted highway she has been traveling and wrecks her car, she is relieved when a car pulls up behind her because she thinks they are there to help her but it turns out to be the creep from the gas station she stopped at hours ago. He grabs her and they struggle and she knows he will win so she sends out a silent pray for help even though she thinks it is futile.

Meanwhile, Loki is having a rough day up in where ever it is the Norse gods live. He wakes up in jail and his ex comes to tell him that his sons have been sentenced to be pushed into the Void (It sounds like a bad place where they will probably die) so Loki escapes and tries to reach his sons before Odin pushes them into the Void. He gets there just as Odin opens up the Void and it sucks his sons in but he jumps in after them and somehow ends up in the woods right next to where Amy is getting attacked.

He kills the man who turned out to be a serial killer and he and Amy end up at a police station, telling the police what happened.

I stopped there because I could no longer handle the short choppy sentences. It is weird because I have only seen one other book, besides children’s readers (the kind they learn to read with), whose author wrote like this but that book was self-published. I just read that one or tried to read it within the last month. I didn’t think a publisher would actually publish a book that was so amateurish but I guess I was wrong.

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